10 Things Not Say to Pregnant Women

      As my pregnancy is coming close to an end (I'm 36 weeks! Can you believe it?) I've been thinking about my pregnancy from when I first found out the exciting news to now.  I’ve braved all the crazy pregnancy symptoms, my body growing to sizes I never thought I'd be and successfully kept my reactions to a minimum with all the unusual comments and questions I’ve been asked by strangers.  I’m so glad I’ve been able to have this experience and have a chance for me and my husband to create a miracle.  With that, I’ve decided to create a series of posts about the things I’ve experienced during my first pregnancy. 

     As many of you know who work have worked with the public, people have some BIG guts.  They say the most bizarre comments and ask the most shocking questions.  I think this intensifies when they see a pregnant woman… their manners go straight out the window.  So here is a list of the top 10 strangest things people have said to me during these last 8 months.  Hopefully you have a few giggles and also get the hint of what NOT to say.

1. You have gotten almost double the size since last week when I saw you.
   I heard this almost daily starting at about 20 weeks.  At first I got very offended and upset by this, not really knowing how to respond.  But after a few weeks I started responding with a pat of on my belly like Santa and saying “baby sure does like sweets” that usually kept people shocked enough to keep the rest of their comments to themselves.  I was always glad Baby Z is growing but commenting on my belly size (or any other woman’s) is not the best thing to say to a hormonal and emotional woman.

2. Aren't you a little young to be pregnant?
 One time when I was being asked this by a customer at work a women sitting nearby called me over after and told me to respond with “Aren’t you a little young to be asking senile questions?”  Even though I haven’t had the heart to say it yet it’s true… and hilarious!  At my young age of 19 I am constantly asked this.  No matter what age a woman gets pregnant it is too late to change the circumstances so encourage! I was always more grateful for the kind, encouraging comments rather than judging questions like this.

3. You know there are ways to prevent that from happening?
I never really knew how to respond to this question and thought it was the most ignorant question to ask.  I’m pregnant so obviously I know how everything works.  But I am so excited about Baby Z growing so he can make his way into me and my husband’s life.  I wouldn’t want to change anything and other future parents probably don’t want to either.  So be excited for them (even if you don’t agree with it) and don’t ask stupid questions!

4. Are you sure your ready to give up your life for a baby?
Anytime someone asks me this I think of people planning my death.  I’m not sure whether it is the crazy part of me coming out or the words “giving up your life” but no one plans on dying or giving up their life when their baby enters the world.  All parents know their life will change and know it can be difficult to adjust but I think a baby is a blessing.  So offer inspiring words as the new parents take a new path in their life.

5. You know pregnancy isn't that hard, you should not use it as an excuse.
It's not like I’m creating another human being while doing all my other priorities of everyday life. (Most people are understanding with this but a few who were not).

6. You surely can't get much bigger than that!
This goes a long with #1.  I can assure you that every woman knows how big they are, whether from the growing baby inside them or the secret stash of ice cream they are hoping  no one will find (or in my case both!).  So instead of saying comments like these try offering a complement, I always loved the people who gave me a compliments even if the no makeup, hot, out of breathe, waddling self didn’t scream beautiful.

7. Your baby is going to be a brat.
I never really know how to respond to this or where they coming from.  Are they commenting on what they think my parenting skills will be or just calling me a brat so I won’t know how to teach my child?  (Or both?)  All of my family has a grand consensus that Baby Z will be very spoiled since he has so many extended family members to love him but that doesn’t mean he won’t be able to learn manners.

8. You better rest up now because you won’t be sleeping the next 18 years.
I’m sure I can fit a nap or 2 in in the next 18 years.  With a baby comes lack of sleep but EVENTUALLY they grow out of that and they might even be able to sleep through the night at the age 18. 

9. You know you better breastfeed because (fill in the blank)
9 ½. You know you better give your baby a bottle because (fill in the blank)
I’ve had so many different comments along these lines.  Strangers telling me why I should, why I shouldn’t, telling me techniques to use because of my body’s shape and asking VERY personal questions about things underneath the shirt.  As a stranger, friend or even family member I don’t think you need to know any of this information or should even be talking about this with me or any other pregnant woman.

10.  Your hungry... AGAIN?
By this point (36 weeks) I’m hungry basically all the time.  No need to comment on it.  Just let me enjoy my cereal, pizza, fruit, cookies and anything else I find.

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